God Punishes the Blessed Atheist
Just a note to let the vast population of atheist bible thumpers know that I will be going in for an angiogram this afternoon. If things don’t look good I may have a stent or two put in. Apparently,God’s punishing me for being a fat bastard… or an atheist… or spilling my seed on the ground. It’s so hard to narrow down. So many sins, so little time to ponder them. I just to let the Lord of Genocide know I enjoyed every one of them, every morsel, every heretical belief, every little wriggler perishing in the dirt. Ah, the memories! I choose to be my own lord and master. In the infinite wisdom of Popeye, I yam what I yam, damn it, and that’s all that I yam.
More seriously, though, it’s non-risky procedure but I may not get my next post done tonight. Joseph’s temptation.
Be sure that I will not pray. I will not plead for God to protect my life. I will calmly trust to the steady hand of Dr. Emad Dodin. Not knowing Dr. Dodin’s religious beliefs, I may refrain from discussing atheism in the cardiac catheter lab. I wouldn’t want to get him too wound up now, would I? Uh… Oops!
I still hope to post this evening but tomorrow, at the latest.
So for the rest of the day please… have a beer. Eat a great meal. Spend time with your kids. Love your wife. And hey, if you get a chance, spill some seed. But whatever other life affirming things you do, just make sure that you don’t pray for me. Life is too short to waste it on your knees.