God Punishes the Blessed Atheist
Just a note to let the vast population of atheist bible thumpers know that I will be going in for an angiogram this afternoon. If things don’t look good I may have a stent or two put in. Apparently,God’s punishing me for being a fat bastard… or an atheist… or spilling my seed on the ground. It’s so hard to narrow down. So many sins, so little time to ponder them. I just to let the Lord of Genocide know I enjoyed every one of them, every morsel, every heretical belief, every little wriggler perishing in the dirt. Ah, the memories! I choose to be my own lord and master. In the infinite wisdom of Popeye, I yam what I yam, damn it, and that’s all that I yam.
More seriously, though, it’s non-risky procedure but I may not get my next post done tonight. Joseph’s temptation.
Be sure that I will not pray. I will not plead for God to protect my life. I will calmly trust to the steady hand of Dr. Emad Dodin. Not knowing Dr. Dodin’s religious beliefs, I may refrain from discussing atheism in the cardiac catheter lab. I wouldn’t want to get him too wound up now, would I? Uh… Oops!
I still hope to post this evening but tomorrow, at the latest.
So for the rest of the day please… have a beer. Eat a great meal. Spend time with your kids. Love your wife. And hey, if you get a chance, spill some seed. But whatever other life affirming things you do, just make sure that you don’t pray for me. Life is too short to waste it on your knees.
Kudos to Neil de Cort for pointing this quote out to me.
Good luck, my thoughts will be with you.
I think some of the clinical trials of intercessory prayer have actually shown it to be harmful. Therefore, I’ll be content to cross my fingers for you.
Nice touch of superstition from Tom S. I’m sure his crossed fingers did the trick,since this blog was posted on 2/17 and you’re still posting 3 mos. later. I can sigh heavily with relief that you still walk among us.
I pray with my kids every night at bedtime. What’s a confused non-theistic Christian to do?
Shall we recite A.A. Milne’s Prayer of Christopher Robin? At least it would be poetry, poetry of someone ELSE’S prayer. Where’s my integrity?
Every night praying with your children?
Oh, Lisa. You seem like such a nice person otherwise.
Prayer does not work, anyway!
I pray that the Love and Peace of God will hover over You and Everybody that reads this tread.
May the Holy Spirit hover over you and reveal himself to you.
In the name of Jesus.
Amen
Does he wear a long raincoat…?