Archive for November 21st, 2010

Of Christian Jackasses And Bob Hutton: A Tragicomedy In One Part


Have you ever run into one of those people who has firm convictions yet little real comprehension of why, someone who deletes any forthright comment on his own site, but when his hateful bullshit gets deleted at other sites, he whines about people infringing on his freedoms and howls about persecution, someone who proudly brags about how the perfect justice of “his god” involves the eternal torture of sinners but simultaneously considers being banned as unfair,  someone who will just make up cute little stories of atheists coming to Jesus but swear that he can’t give any proof because those people would then be in danger, in other words someone who is a jackass?  I mean a real nutless butt-plug of a jackass.  I’m sure you know the kind.

Bob Hutton is one of those.  His blog is here and as you will see with any in-depth read, he’s about as nutlessly butt-pluggy as one can get and still speak the language.  This site packs in the very worst of arguments the Christianoids have dredged out of their intellectually fetid swamp.  Trumpeting the “meaning” of every set back atheists experience, he blithely ignores any similar occurrence to his own group.  His website trumpets several hellfire and brimstone, “Sinners in the hands of an angry god” type posts mixed with the most banal and obviously manufactured fairy tales to support his predetermined truth.  But the comments are the best.  He’ll delete or ignore many that make him look an idiot while responding to those he thinks he can master.  I strongly urge you not to leave comments there and leave them here instead.  Here, we delete nothing.  Here, the battleground is level.

In truth, the most hilarious comments are those fawning subservient ones that he very likely just made up himself.

Comments like this concerning God’s role in the last American election.

“Another great article brother Bob, good information, I had no idea Obama had suffered such a huge defeat.”

Really?   You didn’t know that?  or:

“Great article Bob, the sovereignty of God in salvation is a wonderful reassurance.  No king but Christ!”

Holy sheep shit Batman, but the quality of the lickspittle here is appalling.  Could he find no real person to pat him on the back that he had to make some up?   I have to wonder what other imaginary friends he has.  Snuffaluffagus? Harvey?  Deep throat?

Judging by the enemies he has made, he spends fully half of his time trolling other’s websites all bubbly with promises of the eternal torture to be suffered by any who disagree with him.  Read this post from The Freethinker to see great examples.  In fact, you can see this talk of pain and suffering gets him aroused, if you know what I mean.  It’s quite obviously his kink.  Now most people feel a bit guilty of the naughtier thoughts running through their  head, but Bob brilliantly avoids this by incorporating kinky shit right into religion. If God loves torture then surely Bob can get off on it a bit.  Likely, he fantasizes about joining in all the fun on Judgement Day.  Ah, the screams of the tormented, the fear in their eyes, the pleas for mercy, these are the thoughts that give old Bob a chubby.  Thoughts of red-hot pokers and the rack are his pornography, the tearful pleading of those who have wronged him his erotica.  He likely drifts off  to such dreams while lying between the mildly damp sheets of his bed.  Sad really.

Oh, I sure he’ll come here and put up a spirited defense of the goodness flowing from his soul, but one only need look at the gloating on his website whenever an atheist dies or whenever some calamity befalls sinners.  Events like these are his sacred viagra, his god given aphrodisiac.  The way he “rises to the occasion” in his hurry to expound on their torment whilst brandishing his “Rod of Judgement” in his tightly clenched fist, should be an inspiration to all Fred Phelps wannabes. One can almost see the places where he had to pause in the typing to “relieve the pressure,” poor chap. This quote offers a fine example.

“However, these perverts need to remember that “the mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small”. God bides His time. There is no need for Christians to incite hatred or violence against them (indeed, it is wrong to do such) – God will judge them in His own time and in His own way. One hopes that they will see the error of their ways and repent, casting themselves upon a merciful God who will pardon those who plead with Christ for mercy. However, should they continue in their depravity then they WILL face eternal torments when they die. One second in Hell will be enough to wipe out all their “pleasant” memories when they willingly engaged in these vile pursuits.”

“Depravity… Whack! Whack! Whack!  Torments… Whack! Whack! Whack!    Hell… Whack! Whack!  Oh, oh, ooooh, Lord Jeeeesus!”  And once he rests up, he can always hope for a “second coming” later in the evening. In my mind’s eye, Bob is severely sexually repressed, but he’s the kind that you fervently hope stays repressed.  Darwin help anyone who opens that Pandora’s box because when they do, some shit’s going to happen.

People like this have come to define the worst elements of Christianity for me.  They preach fear and hate while submitting to some bat-shit crazy God of love.  Bob, when you read this try, at the very least, to understand the following.  Even if you prove to me your God is real, he is still an asshole, and, Bob, so are you.

You have fun tonight, Bob. I’ll send you a picture of myself so you can get the fantasy right; I promise.  I hate being misrepresented in sadistic dreams.

BTW, I hope you’re into 40-year-old fat guys.

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