A Bible Study by the only people truly qualified to study the bible — those who don't believe.

Here we are at the not-so-happy end of what shall be known as the Golden Calf Affair so let’s sum up the story so far.  Moses is gone for forty days making up God’s rules, but the people get all God-horny in his absence so Aaron creates a perfectly acceptable substitute out of some cheap baubles, a sort of inflatable doll of a god, much like the other one.  Everyone is joyous… Except Yahweh, of course.  He is set to kill everyone for this sleight to his dignity but is persuaded by Moses to change his mind and will now proceed to merely hold a grudge against the people he adores above all others.  Yep, that’s about it, the entire plot with all its contradictory absurdities intact, the whole enchilada, one big steaming pile of sacred cow shit… But now with raisins!

So Moses, peeved that his people have turned from the one true Lord Genocide, charges down the hill stone tablets under his arm.  He is determined to set things right which means, of course, to get himself back into power ASAP.  As he approaches camp his servant hears the sounds of battle but Moses corrects him.  ”It is not the sound of the cry of triumph, Nor is it the sound of the cry of defeat; But the sound of singing I hear.”  The people are partying down getting to know their new god who is obviously a bit more fun than the old one.  Yahweh was always a bit of a downer at the keg.   But a grand party it was right up until Moses charges in, throws the Ten Commandments at their feet and rages around the camp.  He grinds the golden calf to dust, sprinkles the dust into water and then forces everyone to drink.  Party’s over! Dad’s home.

Aaron being the whiny little shit he is tries to wheedle his way out of the blame.  “Do not let the anger of my lord burn; you know the people yourself, that they are prone to evil.  ”For they said to me, ‘Make a god for us who will go before us; for this Moses, the man who brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.”I said to them, ‘Whoever has any gold, let them tear it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”

Yeah! Sure it did.  Walked right out!  Personally, I think this was a power play of Aaron’s. He was the closest witness to how Moses created a god and coaxed everyone into belief and subordination.  Aaron was well aware of the power that could be gained by simple but crafty manipulations of human emotion so I think that this was Aaron’s attempted coup, but the truth is apparent that Aaron even with Moses’ deceitful example before him simply wasn’t clever enough to pull this off.  The Great Golden Calf Affair was the attempted overthrow of a liar by a fukwit, but like rocks versus scissors, liars will beat fukwits any day. If only the fukwits could learn that immutable fact the world would be a calmer albeit duller place.

But Exodus 32/25-29 is the most interesting part.  Read this quite carefully.  In fact, go back and read the entirety of chapter 32.  The chapter tells much about the nature of religion and God in society.

 Now when Moses saw that the people were out of control–for Aaron had let them get out of control to be a derision among their enemies–then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, “Whoever is for the Lord, come to me!” And all the sons of Levi gathered together to him.  He said to them, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor.’”  So the sons of Levi did as Moses instructed, and about three thousand men of the people fell that day.  Then Moses said, “Dedicate yourselves today to the Lord–for every man has been against his son and against his brother–in order that He may bestow a blessing upon you today.”

Aaron had lost control of the people.  They were not out of control as in running around like a bunch of psychopaths but were out of Moses’ control. Aaron in his bid for power had screwed up Moses’ well honed and terrified machine.  The people were now off thinking for themselves, not being rational, mind you, but not allowing Moses to dictate their every belief and value anymore.  This was intolerable.  So he gathers the sons of Levi and commands them  ”Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor.’”   Of course, the sons of Levi obey and rush through the camp killing brothers, friends and neighbors; 3000 people in all. Well that ended the party, let me tell you!  The whole of this slaughter was for the simple and innocent sin of making a statue and paying homage to it, of marching to the beat of a different drum, of doing something “else”.  As you can see, the Bible’s not exactly into diversity… Or mercy.

But then Moses ensnares deep into his web all those who took part in the murders.   Then Moses said, “Dedicate yourselves today to the Lord–for every man has been against his son and against his brother–in order that He may bestow a blessing upon you today.”  This is the most fascinating and revealing line in the Bible so far.  Throw yourselves on the Lord Genocide so he will bless you for you have killed your kin in his name.  Those who have murdered now have no where else to go.  They have all committed atrocities on sons and brothers and neighbors and will never be fully welcomed back into their communities.  How could they be?  They may be the victors but they’ll be alone on their blood covered hill. They must stick together now, for apart they are outcasts.  This horrendous crime has tied them together more tightly that anything else Moses could have done.  This abomination forever bound the assassins to their leader, the bloody sheep to the bloody shepherd, the guilty to the guiltier.

Regarding the whole coup, it’s likely that a people who have been wandering the desert for months following a schizophrenic dick-head just may have been interested in a change of leadership.  It’s a fucking desert for a lack-of-Christ’s sake. After barely surviving the whims and caprice of a tyrannical and insane shitbag and his God.  After a constant flirtation with exhaustion, dehydration and starvation, people were likely ready to follow anyone who would lead them out of the desert.  Even a golden calf!  They were ready for a change, but Moses was not, and like tyrants after him Moses knew that enough spilled blood, especially the right blood, would silence the opposition for a long time.  So he set his most loyal followers to butchering their neighbors and friends, their sons and fathers all in the name of their God.  Their hands dripped with the life of their kin and now the only people who could look past the enormity of their crime was their fellow conspirators.

As I have said for months now, Moses as a cult leader knew how to keep his grip on power in the Hebrew nation. Kill the opposition and then claim God’s wants it that way.  Terror and death a well-used formula performed effectively throughout the ages but never surpassed. Moses is the undisputed master of tyrannical cult control.  He has no equal.

But he’s still a shitbag.  No equal for this either either. His actions reek of douchebaggery and nutless puttpluggery, and has set the stage for the thousands of pogroms to come against people of differing faiths.  He gave sacred credence to the slaughter of the dissidents.  The first religious civil war was over.  Diversity and variation lost.  Critical thinking and reason were soundly defeated.  The enforced religious monotheism created a rigid and linear thought structure.  Thou shall not deviate.  Being different is a capital offense.

We see the same thing today around the world.  People killing or oppressing others for the simple crime of not believing exactly as they do.  No matter how similar the belief systems, it’s so easy to find a single difference and point to it as critical.  I’m convinced that if the entire world was forced to be a single religion, Christian, Muslin or whatever, we’d soon be preaching against and oppressing others because they’re not Protestant.  Then because they’re not Baptist.  Then because they’re not Westboro Baptist.  Then because they don’t sit on the left side of the church.  Then…

The hierarchical state of humanity requires that we arrange ourselves into a pecking order and then try to claw our way to the top of that order both individually and as a group. Our status within these groups large or small, is what the evolutionary need to find mates has bred us for.   This selfishness and need to be seen as better than others is an integral part of being human.  This is the very essence of the worst of what it means to be us.  Created by a perfect God, my ass!

One of my problems with so many philosophical and religious arguments is that they make rules and guidelines for us based on what they want us to be, not how we really are.  Though many philosophies may be dangerously utopian and prone to collapse in real world situations, people seldom go out and butcher others for those beliefs.  Only when philosophies reach the point of religion, are people overtly willing to kill their fellows.  Following religion or making our current philosophy into a near religion makes terrible acts possible because then we think we are doing the right thing.  We think we are saving the world.  Murdering jackasses rarely think of themselves as such and even more seldom want to be seen in that light. Even murdering jackasses want to be heroes. From Stalin and Hitler to the cross-bearing destroyers of the Incas and Aztecs, from the slaughter and enslavement of Africans to the decimation of the Native Americans, from one religious war to any other religious war, the worst acts in our history have been committed by people who convinced themselves they were doing the right thing. They were convinced they were saving the world. And here in Exodus is the inception of that concept.  Moses really did lead the way.

When someone is willing to kill and oppress people to force them to believe in the One True Thing, there are few limits to what horrors they will inflict.

Adding God into the mix, removes even those.