A Bible Study by the only people truly qualified to study the bible — those who don't believe.

This was a great way to be welcomed home.

I just wanted to do a quick update before we plunged back into that book.  You know… That damned, goofy, shit-assed crazy, religious one… Um… The Bauble? The Babble?  Oh yeah.  The Bible.  Though, I do think my two earlier guesses were close in spirit, at least.

Where the hell have I been, you ask.  Hmm.  Well, the short answer would be Minneapolis, St. Paul and Las Vegas.  The long answer?  That’s barely worth repeating, but here goes.

I went to St Paul for a week of training where I sat for unending hours listening to the intricacies of OSHA, the US department governing on-the-job safety.  I did get to wear some self-contained-breathing-apparatus and pretend to do something dangerous.  They even lowered my fat ass on a cable to simulate a hazardous entry.  Damned if I don’t feel sorry for the poor bastard who had to winch me back out of that hole.  But after that bit of fun it was back to the classroom to learn the vast gulf of difference between the words “should” and “shall.”  Apparently, most of western civilization hinges on this crucial distinction or so it would seem.

For those of you who are interested “shall” in legal-babble means that a company must follow a particular regulation.  Should, on the other means that they don’t have to but if someone dies while not following it, the company is in danger of getting a small lecture on their responsibilities and the possibility of a small fine, and I do mean small.  In the late 80’s,  a friend’s brother was killed in our trade performing a seriously flawed procedure.  OSHA levied a stiff fine of $500 against the contractor.  This staggering amount was thought to be too high and was soon negotiated down to $325.  The brother, for lack of better lawyers, remained dead.  In the light of these draconian punishments is it any wonder that most businesses would prefer to convert every “shall” to a “should.”

After this, I was off to teaching our third year apprentices outside of Minneapolis.  Since, I had to sit in a classroom for the previous week, I thought it quite grand to make others follow suit.  Ooohhh, arbitrarily enforced power!  Now, I can see why Yahweh always has an erection.

Actually, it was a good class, but my time was absorbed by planning and writing and uh… writing and planning.  And of course beer!  If there is one thing union boilermakers like, it’s beer. Damned if those people aren’t a bad influence on me, but all in all it went well.

Speaking of beer, I was off to Vegas for the 32^nd Boilermaker Convention.  Now, I know what most of you are thinking.  I had to sit through a dull convention but, at least, I was able to enjoy the wonders of Sin City.  Yeah, well… Not so much.  The convention itself was actually fascinating with all the politically devious battles and back-room deals one would expect of international union politics.  Vegas, on the other hand, is a shit-hole.  Sorry if I offend anyone here.  But 10 years ago my family and I spent 3 months living in Vegas.  There are virtually no museums, no zoos, and no culture unless it’s all kitschy and filled with enough glitz to stuff into a casino.  During my first sojourn I had my family to compensate, but this time, alas, that was not the case.  If there’s a city on earth that I could pick to not live in, Vegas would be it.  Seattle? Yes.  San Diego?  Yes.  New York?  Absolutely!  Chicago?  Oh baby, yes!  Vegas?  Under threat of crucifixion… Perhaps.  Just perhaps.

Then I flew in to my fair city to spend exactly 9 hours with my family doing laundry, repacking and, of course, sleeping, before driving the 400 miles back to Minneapolis to teach another week.  Sigh.

Bah, don’t let me fool you.  Aside from my family’s absence, it has been a good month.  The convention and the training were far better than I had any right to expect, interesting and well done.  The classes went so well that I am quite reassured by my decision to teach.  I truly think I have found a niche and one I can make money at, not a common thing.

The downside is that it takes time, a lot of time, a lot of thinking time.  After ten or twelve hours of that I have had little mental energy to write much for all of you.

But now I’m back in the loving arms of  my bride and the disdainful but affectionate embrace of my teenage son.  Speaking of disdain, did I mention the cats?  Ah, it’s good to be home.

P. S. Here’s what the front yard looks like now!  Again the Photos turn out quite blurry and dull until you click on them.  I’ll have to fix that.

Like I've said before - Paradise.

This squash vine is now about 20 feet from its root system. Amazing how it grows.

Here are other branches. By harvest time we'll have squash in the street.

Our "jungle" of tomatoes, eggplant, peppers and various ornamentals. I will never cease to wonder at what a few seeds treated to a little care will do. Evolution is awesome. So is my wife. Her talents are manifold!

P.P.S.  I leave in a week and a half for Kansas City for some more of that riveting Law and Safety courses… nine days in a row.  Sigh!

But for now I’m right where I need to be.  Home.

And now back to my writing sanctuary. Oh, how I've missed it.