Archive for the ‘ Thoughts ’ Category

Occupy Wallstreet:Bismarck Edition


Yesterday, I partook of my first Occupy Wallstreet rally, here in Bismarck, of course, and it was great.  I feel like my youth may have been wasted conforming to one side or another, and aside from the pain caused from getting out of bed every morning, I’m glad that period’s over.  Truth is that I enjoy getting out, holding protest signs and getting flipped off.  I believe a mother-daughter team gave me the bird as they careened around the corner.  It’s a rather exhilarating feeling receiving a  ”thumbs up with the middle finger” while doing something you truly believe in.

Our signs went on a theme protesting the fear the right has used to justify their insane tax policy which in a nutshell is the old give-all-your money,-political-power-and-hope-of-ever-getting-either-back-and-everything-will-be-fine-trust-us-approach. They are as follows.

My bride with the first of our signs.

My long time friend Jeremy, hold our other themed sign.

Alas, I took the pictures so there is none of me.  Damned selfish atheist wife, always thinking of herself.  Sigh.  My sign said the same but substituted immigrants instead.  These are just some of the little balls of hate the right tosses out trying to convince the nation that they know the real problems.  If you are interested in a bit of ugliness and can tolerate a nasally and annoying voice, the video for an interview that the Tribune did with me can be found here.  Sorry, I shouldn’t force this upon anyone.  Forgive me.

And last but not least this letter to the editor was in the paper last week.

Naturally, I had to respond to such idiocy, alas with a bit less mockery than I have grown accustomed to.  It was hard, very hard. The comment section is rife with morons who hide behind anonymity and hate.  Feel free to join in.  Nicely though, or they turn commenting off.

I’m Back. Again… No really!


The dark side of safety warnings.

At long last I have returned from my long pilgrimage to the Occupational, Safety and Health mecca in Kansas City.  I am knowledgeable, competent and qualified in all things safety!  I am become Safety!  Savior of worlds!  Bow before me or be buried in red tape.

At any rate, I have finished my 12 day ordeal and am now home.  My stay in KC was quite nice actually.  The hotel was excellent, the conference, while long, was worth it and this should further my career somewhat.  The more I know the better I am and let me tell you, the shit that I have learned the last year and a half… Sigh.  As much as I have always read science and history and kept informed I still  feel I have been wasting my life up until now.  Sometimes, I want to time travel beck to my young irresponsible self and kick him/me in the balls for not taking advantage of everything I could have.

Yeah.  I have been a dumb shit.  You knew it!

As an added bonus, a reader of this site contacted me while U was down there.  Jason of KC came and picked me up from my hotel and took me to one of the daily  (daily!!!) atheist/freethinker meet ups there.  It was great meeting some of the others and see how they managed their groups.  We also picked another evening to hit supper, Thai!  Bismarck has no Thai food and I really feel the lack.  It was wonderful.

I keep telling everyone that I took off with some guy I met on the internet.  Wow!  The looks that’ll get you.

At any rate, here is a sincere thank you to Jason of Kansas City.  I am glad to have met you and appreciate what you did.  You ever come back up this way, Jason, stop in.  We have extra beds.

Atheists are wonderful people.

The Preacher’s Kid’s Story, A Loss Of Faith


PK, you need to get one of these.

A week or so back I got to chatting with a commenter on the site, a preacher’s kid and former born-again bible thumper.  Since I went through a similar experience, I’m always fascinated by people’s loss of faith.  So here in his own word’s is the Preacher’s Kid’s Tale.  It’s a great story.

The human mind is such an incredible thing…

“But Mrs. Steinly, how did every kind of animal get to the ark?”
This is my first memory of questioning what I was told was the truth for the duration of my young life. I believe I was around eight years old and it was just another Sunday morning in Sunday school.
“Well, Timmy, god magically made every animal want to get to the ark. So they all made the trip.”
Mrs. Steinly’s answer succeeded to quell not only my curiosity that morning but millions of eight year olds around the world to this very day.
I remember thinking of her answer later on in the day. I guess I couldn’t quite understand how powerful god really was. I needed to ask my Dad.

My father was the pastor of a conservative evangelical Lutheran church in the Arizona town where I grew up. He spent eight years at Bethany College in Minnesota to earn a Master’s degree in theology and then received several vicar positions in the mid-west before finally being “promoted” to the position of pastor. Now that I think of it, it sure sounds like the way a business runs…Hmm. Anyway, along the way my mother conceived six boys and quite a temper. I guess the short fuse was a result of trying to corral all six of us to prevent needless blood loss from normal everyday male adolescent activities and I do thank her for that.

I remember asking my father that afternoon after the Sunday morning hustle and bustle was over the same question I asked earlier that morning during Sunday school. I’ll paraphrase his answer:
“Well, Timmy god has a way of doing things that not everyone understands. I think he instilled in the animals a great desire to get to Noah and the ark and they just knew that was where they needed to be and what they needed to do. Kind of like when ducks fly south for the winter or a dog instinctively knows how to swim when they are in water.”

Dad’s answer sounded so matter of fact to me at the time and I was satisfied. He was the smartest person I knew. I don’t recall ever being curious about that subject for the rest of my youth. At the time, I believed my parents knew the answers to things (and I would too, eventually) because they instilled in us that the bible HAD all the answers. My brothers and I were sold on the idea and I took this “knowledge” with me, one way or another, through my elementary, high school and college years. The bible was not and could not be wrong. Dinosaurs? I didn’t believe they could exist because it just didn’t seem to jive with the creation story. All fossils found were just bones of other animals that were pieced together until they came up with something that looked pre-historic. The Grand Canyon? It was formed by the flood waters receding as well as all the continents of earth and the lakes that occupied them a couple thousand years ago. Evolution? Don’t even get me
started. There was NO way something could have transformed. God made it right the first time. Everything presently living was exactly the same as it was at the time of creation. Earth science, geology, astronomy, biology…hogwash. This was the basis of my thinking.

During my youth and teenage years I attended public elementary and high school. My high school years were pretty typical of a lot of people. My parents were strict with our grades and wanted us to do our best. I excelled at English and History and my parents were proud of me for the marks I received in them. A ‘B grade’ in those two subjects was frowned upon. Funny thing, though. They never punished me for receiving D’s and sometimes F’s in biology or any of my science subjects for that matter. My mindset was in “bible” mode during those classes and my parents, in a weird way, kind of admired that about me. When asked about the grades when my report cards came I simply told my parents that I could not go against what they had taught me growing up and what was so hardwired into my thought pattern. The bible and everything to do with it was simply not wrong, the science books were. It’s not like I was lying to them to soften the blow of a bad grade. This is how I truly felt.

Socially, I was a pretty athletic guy who played sports and went to parties and drank beer and was very interested in girls. I was a typical high school teenage boy of the times. My parents never were the wiser until a group of us was kicked off the swim team for drinking on an overnight trip with the team.

It’s interesting that the biblical thought patterns I had for certain academic subjects were seldom found in my social life. It reminds me of a lot of “christians” who regularly attend church nowadays.

Through all of this I wasn’t into church as much as I once had been. It was more like making an appearance and sitting in the back pew in the corner with a hangover from partying the night before. But there, nonetheless. One of my parent’s house rules was that I attended whether I wanted to or not.

Oh, and for those of you have never been to a conservative Lutheran church service it consists of a lot of Stand Up, Sit Down, Fight! Fight! Fight! I guess it’s good to be in somewhat constant motion for the mere weekly repetition and boredom of the service alone is enough to put anyone face first into the awful circa 1970′s era avocado green carpet in a bore induced coma. Oh, and let’s not forget the worship! Five pipe organ led hymns strategically placed in between gospel, Old Testament readings, the sermon, communion and the benediction done by my old man, the minister. Catholics and ex-catholics, I feel ya! Our services were basically, from what I hear from you, “Mass-lite”.
We were such a conservative bunch that the mere thought of drums or a guitar might be enough to bring the wrath of god through the roof in a form of a very well aimed lightning bolt, striking down the “bombastic rocker” musicians. Although, in all fairness, I must point out that an occasional trumpet or flute would make an appearance on random Sundays accompanying a “soloist” singer. God must have been worn down from a week of not answering prayers and wreaking havoc that maybe he couldn’t muster up enough energy for said lightning bolt. Or maybe he was just watching the football pre-game shows and wasn’t paying attention.
As I got older, I eventually moved out of my parent’s house and re-located to Flagstaff, Az. for college with one of my brothers and best friends. That experience only lasted three months for me. Technology is great and all but when most of my classes were broadcast on TV via the Northern Arizona University Television Network AND I could record them on my trusty VCR certain that I would watch them at a later time to “get caught up”, one tends to…should I say…. slack. And by slack I mean party my ass off.
Upon my move back home around Christmas I did not return to church. There was too much to do other than going to services every Sunday and being told how I should be feeling and acting. I was finished with it. I could finally sit my hiney down on my couch and watch the football pre-game shows just like god was doing. But my biblical mindset of the world around me was still lurking in the background.
Fast-forward five years or so.
I’m now married to my wife and have three kids. Although she was raised as a christian we rarely attended church. I was still drinking and partying too much but with thoughts of slowing down. Then, I had a sudden slap across the head the morning after my son’s first birthday party. I had made a drunken fool of myself in front of my wife and family the night before. As I was dry heaving through my hang-over, there was a moment where I thought I was “touched by god” and convinced myself that he was sending me a personal message to quit drinking. I told my wife I was quitting and she gave me a, “yeah right.” She had heard it before. Numerous times. Needless to say, because of this imaginary magical anointing, I eventually became a bible-thumping, on fire for christ, music and youth leader in my new evangelical non-denominational church that I began to attend. Being a life-long musician and fan of music I really got into it because the services had drums, electric guitars, keyboards, mixing boards, stages and lights. Hell, even a smoke machine would make an appearance every now and then. It was freaking rock and roll bee-yatches!! But for god, of course. My wife was convinced that I had changed and there could only be one reason. She started attending with me with the kids in tow.
During this time, I believed god was telling me to bring other sheeple to him. I had all the answers for any question and I let anyone who would listen to me know. They were all in the bible, dummy! The prodigal son had finally returned! My parents were happy to see their son turn back his rebellious ways and were glad I was so happy to spread the good news! However, they were not crazy about the church I attended because of the over the top music and “un-biblical” communion practices. How dare they say the bread and grape juice (“real” christians use wine, dammit) only symbolizes the body and blood of Christ instead of partaking in actual transformed Jesus sushi. They could over-look this, though, because I was finally back on the damn team instead of sitting on the proverbial bench for so long!! This was me for a good three years. Eating, sleeping, breathing, preaching, sharing, getting tattooed and indoctrinating into my children the infallible word of god! Praise the lord and pass the sushi sauce!

Reality has a funny way of introducing itself to certain people. I consider myself one of those lucky few. About two years ago I was looking for a way to make my faith in the good ship lollipop even stronger. I could feel my connection to god slipping a little but was told over and over by people in the church that, “it happens to all of us.” I just needed to pray about it more and maybe give more gifts (money) to god and after a while I’d be right back in the swing of things. I did. Nothing happened. I thought crazy thoughts like the devil was starting to really have his way with me and it drove me to actual diagnosed depression which led to medication. How could god use me to reach so many people and then abandon me like this? I kept thinking it was all a test and that god would reward me in the near future with wisdom and chocolate covered peanut butter cups.

I then had a great idea that I thought came from god and here it is. I thought god wanted me to go to the library and get a book in the evil atheist section called, “50 reasons People Give for Believing in a God”, by Guy P. Harrison. I had seen it in passing while quickly cutting through (damn near sprinting, actually) the section on a previous visit to get to where the safe religious books were. My plan was simple. Read each reason and back it up with biblical reasoning to bust the false ideas Harrison gave to lead so many people away from the one true god. This book and author had no chance against me. Dinosaurs, astronomy, evolution, earth science, geology…Bull Feathers!!

Yeah, um, hmm…turns out, after the first chapter I had so many questions that could only be answered by taking an honest approach to actually finding the truth. I stopped reading after the first chapter for a whole day to think and realized something. The truth might have been hidden from me right under my nose for my entire life. The truth might have been hidden from me from the time I could think on my own as a toddler. The brainwashing that was instilled in me, my brothers, my parents by their parents, their parents ad-nausea might have been no fault of our own. I feel we were the product of our mental environment. It’s that simple.

I told myself I was going to approach this over-whelming project with a completely un-biased, take the blinders off way of thinking and if I finished the book and still felt all the answers were still in the bible then god wins. Yeah, I would be happy with that. The next day I read chapters 2-50 in one sitting and for the next month studied them more than I have ever studied anything in my life. One by one, questions were answered and opinions changed that I never believed possible. Above all, science was not the devil’s work thrown together by people who thought they knew better than god. The more I studied and actually used my evolved brain to actually THINK for myself and using the overwhelming evidence that is out there for ANYONE to discover I steadily felt a peace come over me that I had never thought possible. As I realized more and more the horse hockey that I had believed my whole life was wrong and that religion, at its very fucking core, was the root of all my troubled feelings throughout my life the cloud finally lifted and complete freedom has come over me that is almost un-explainable to my family, friends and co-workers. They all know of my transformation but can’t understand it because they won’t LET themselves understand it.

The thing that buggers me the most about all of this is not the family and friends I have lost during my de-programming (which has happened). It is not the feeling of being duped into believing the way I did (which I do feel). Above all, it is the years of knowledge that I have been cheated out of in the field of science solely because of religion. When I first realized that I had no more than a third grader’s education in the sciences is what gave me the drive to learn everything possible about them. It’s a wonderful journey and I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever go back.

Looking back now with a clear, skeptical mind I know that when I imagined I was “touched by god” it was merely my body reacting to years of alcohol and a party lifestyle and it just needed a break. But at the time, the engraved childhood fantasies of god took over and I turned to the only thing that my brain could process that might have been able to offer some sort of comfort and help.

The human brain is such a wonderfully strange and powerful thing, isn’t it?

PK (preachers kid) Timmy Dee.

Toto, We’re Not In Kansas Anymore! Oh, Wait… Shit I Am.


Why?? Because I can.

Hey all.  just a quick note to let you know that the Blessed Atheist/KKBundy/Waylon (Damn, I’m getting too many names) is presently in Kansas City and will be for the next ten days.  I’ll be sitting through ten straight days of OSHA law classes. Ugh!  I imagine my days won’t exactly be riveting but hey, after Exodus and Leviticus I am well versed in useless legal bullshit.  But still pity me. Please!

And if any reader happens to live nearby I’d love to hear from them.  I know the chance is slim, but hey, you never know.  Drop me a comment here and maybe we can have a couple of beers and commiserate over the fate of humanity.

If not I’ll work on writing more.  That should be great.  Days filled with modern senseless legalese followed by nights filled with ancient senseless legalese.

I hope I survive.

 

And because I still can here are a couple more Jesus related Demotivational Posters.

 

I’m back! For a while.


This was a great way to be welcomed home.

I just wanted to do a quick update before we plunged back into that book.  You know… That damned, goofy, shit-assed crazy, religious one… Um… The Bauble? The Babble?  Oh yeah.  The Bible.  Though, I do think my two earlier guesses were close in spirit, at least.

Where the hell have I been, you ask.  Hmm.  Well, the short answer would be Minneapolis, St. Paul and Las Vegas.  The long answer?  That’s barely worth repeating, but here goes.

I went to St Paul for a week of training where I sat for unending hours listening to the intricacies of OSHA, the US department governing on-the-job safety.  I did get to wear some self-contained-breathing-apparatus and pretend to do something dangerous.  They even lowered my fat ass on a cable to simulate a hazardous entry.  Damned if I don’t feel sorry for the poor bastard who had to winch me back out of that hole.  But after that bit of fun it was back to the classroom to learn the vast gulf of difference between the words “should” and “shall.”  Apparently, most of western civilization hinges on this crucial distinction or so it would seem.

For those of you who are interested “shall” in legal-babble means that a company must follow a particular regulation.  Should, on the other means that they don’t have to but if someone dies while not following it, the company is in danger of getting a small lecture on their responsibilities and the possibility of a small fine, and I do mean small.  In the late 80’s,  a friend’s brother was killed in our trade performing a seriously flawed procedure.  OSHA levied a stiff fine of $500 against the contractor.  This staggering amount was thought to be too high and was soon negotiated down to $325.  The brother, for lack of better lawyers, remained dead.  In the light of these draconian punishments is it any wonder that most businesses would prefer to convert every “shall” to a “should.”

After this, I was off to teaching our third year apprentices outside of Minneapolis.  Since, I had to sit in a classroom for the previous week, I thought it quite grand to make others follow suit.  Ooohhh, arbitrarily enforced power!  Now, I can see why Yahweh always has an erection.

Actually, it was a good class, but my time was absorbed by planning and writing and uh… writing and planning.  And of course beer!  If there is one thing union boilermakers like, it’s beer. Damned if those people aren’t a bad influence on me, but all in all it went well.

Speaking of beer, I was off to Vegas for the 32nd Boilermaker Convention.  Now, I know what most of you are thinking.  I had to sit through a dull convention but, at least, I was able to enjoy the wonders of Sin City.  Yeah, well… Not so much.  The convention itself was actually fascinating with all the politically devious battles and back-room deals one would expect of international union politics.  Vegas, on the other hand, is a shit-hole.  Sorry if I offend anyone here.  But 10 years ago my family and I spent 3 months living in Vegas.  There are virtually no museums, no zoos, and no culture unless it’s all kitschy and filled with enough glitz to stuff into a casino.  During my first sojourn I had my family to compensate, but this time, alas, that was not the case.  If there’s a city on earth that I could pick to not live in, Vegas would be it.  Seattle? Yes.  San Diego?  Yes.  New York?  Absolutely!  Chicago?  Oh baby, yes!  Vegas?  Under threat of crucifixion… Perhaps.  Just perhaps.

Then I flew in to my fair city to spend exactly 9 hours with my family doing laundry, repacking and, of course, sleeping, before driving the 400 miles back to Minneapolis to teach another week.  Sigh.

Bah, don’t let me fool you.  Aside from my family’s absence, it has been a good month.  The convention and the training were far better than I had any right to expect, interesting and well done.  The classes went so well that I am quite reassured by my decision to teach.  I truly think I have found a niche and one I can make money at, not a common thing.

The downside is that it takes time, a lot of time, a lot of thinking time.  After ten or twelve hours of that I have had little mental energy to write much for all of you.

But now I’m back in the loving arms of  my bride and the disdainful but affectionate embrace of my teenage son.  Speaking of disdain, did I mention the cats?  Ah, it’s good to be home.

P. S. Here’s what the front yard looks like now!  Again the Photos turn out quite blurry and dull until you click on them.  I’ll have to fix that.

Like I've said before - Paradise.

This squash vine is now about 20 feet from its root system. Amazing how it grows.

Here are other branches. By harvest time we'll have squash in the street.

Our "jungle" of tomatoes, eggplant, peppers and various ornamentals. I will never cease to wonder at what a few seeds treated to a little care will do. Evolution is awesome. So is my wife. Her talents are manifold!

P.P.S.  I leave in a week and a half for Kansas City for some more of that riveting Law and Safety courses… nine days in a row.  Sigh!

But for now I’m right where I need to be.  Home.

And now back to my writing sanctuary. Oh, how I've missed it.

Paradise


Hello again.  I know this is a Bible blog and I should try to stay on subject but well… What the hell.  To illustrate the other things that have kept me busy, I decided to offer a photo montage of our garden.  When we bought this house eight years ago we thought we would never have enough room for a real garden.  Oh, my wife has always been into flowers and plants but due to a shortage of backyard space, edible gardening has always been a thing she thought wasn’t in our future.  Then I worked on her.  And worked on her.  And again.  You see I’ve always considered the front yard of most homes a waste.  I’m not sure what it is like in other contries, but in the US an expansive front lawn is simply something to look at, a middle class status symbol ranked by how perfectly uniform it is.  Unbroken by variation it generally sits there unused.  Seldom trod on, rarely played on and virtually never sat on, So much money and effort go into American yards which serve as pristine but useless frames to houses.

I’ve never been a fan.

Now while our backyard is too small for a garden, our front yard had plenty of space that was doing little save for creating a mowing job for Reilly.  He has always resented this too (still does) as we only have a hand-powered reel style push mower.  Can you imagine this? An American kid forced into slave labor without even the support of an internal combustion engine.  Sigh. And we don’t have either cable or broadcast TV… Has there ever been a child so deprived?  Frankly I’m surprised social services hasn’t been called.

Anyway, I digress.  So here is our useless front yard combined with a couple who would love to grow their own food.  All one needs to do is set aside some standard conventions and voila!  Instant garden… well not really instant, quite the contrary actually, but you get the idea.  BTW, click on the pictures to get clearer and slightly larger photos.  Wordpress’s photo compressor has a blurring side effect.

Our front yard garden looking south.

As you can see my very talented wife loves to mix both the astheticly pleasing and practical side by side so we have garlic growing next to Asian Lilies, tomatoes ended by pansies  and the entire garden overlooked by a massive Honeysuckle. Oh, how I love this place.

Here's the middle looking back north.

And south again.

South looking north. Ornamentals at the corner and beans down the east side along with plenty of radish, lettuce and other greens.

Here's the far west looking east.

As you can see from the last two photos, there is a bit of grass left.  Within a couple years this will all be torn up too replaced with some fruit bushes and grapes, perhaps. Maybe just strawberries.   Since I don’t have a tiller and prefer to do everything by shovel and fork, it takes time to get it all done.  I’m looking forward to when the only thing we have to mow is the boulevard.  Secretly, we’re trying to see what the city will allow us to change there too, but they get a little weird about those things.

Peas and cabbage

Our first garden pea... I did have to share it, but it was damned fine anyway. Tomorrow I'll sneak out before Renee gets up.

Which of course, brings me to my favorite plant in the yard, this wonderful Honeysuckle.  Unfortunately, the blooms are mostly gone now but this is an incredible plant, healthy, strong and determined to conquer everything in it’s path.  It’s everything life should be.

The honeysuckle, planted when we moved in and going strong ever since. Awesome.

Backyard with ornamentals and herbs. It's our little shelter.

The reading, writing, eating and relaxing area.

The hammock. Simply the best thing we have ever bought. Ever! I'm not kidding. Laying with a pillow and book in the hammock with a beer to the side... This is what life is all about.

My wife cannot let a corner go without something growing there. Can you believe the color? Isn't evolution wonderful?

Like I said above, every corner. It amazes me what a little junk off the farm and some flowering plants can do.

And to end our little garden tour we’ll give you some rooftop shots.

Our backyard combined with the neighbor's over the fence. She has a great pond with amazingly large fish! Reilly also does the mowing there but she does pay him. Unlike us.

Aerial views of the raised beds. Hands off the peas!

And my son, Reilly. He and I are now convinced that we should build a small deck up here. Great view and we could spy on the neighbors ;) . That's our very art deco capital building in the background. P.S. His mother had a bit of a fit learning he had been up there. Um... yeah.

I was going to end there but upon coming into the house I was presented with this incredible relaxing view and simply couldn’t resist.

Cat's have a great ability to make the most uncomfortable positions look like heaven. This is Granite, a master of her trade, doing what she know how to do best.

And there it is.  My wife and I are a study of opposites in this garden.  She loves the plants.  I prefer the soil.  She arranges the flowers.  I arrange the beds themselves.  She nurtures growth.  I dig dirt.  We are opposite but complimentary.  The thing we both share is an absolute fascination with life in all it’s varieties.  We worship life and how can one not?   We can stare at a single flower and wonder at its beauty for many minutes.

And there has never been a better time to stop and smell the roses.  Think about it.  What an age to live in.  We have plants from nearly every spot on the globe at our fingertips.  Species and varieties that people actually died to bring back and labored to cultivate, I can buy at the grocery store for pennies.  Oh what a life!  I live with a woman I’m devoted to and a child whom I adore.  People, this is truly a golden age, and I live in paradise.

Again, I’m not kidding.

Why I Am A 13-Year-Old Atheist


This is Waylon Hedegaard/KKbundy/The Blessed Atheist.  As many know, my wife and I homeschool our son and writing has always been a big part of that.  For a writing project at the end of school, Reilly wrote about what it’s like to be a teen atheist, and  I want to share it with you.  I left the article as written.  It’s in his hand and style and is pretty much untouched by me.  Damned if he doesn’t make me proud.

Here’s Reilly.

My atheism, like many things, has many causes. Thousands of different factors, all thrown at me to produce who I am and what I believe. One of the biggest things that played into my atheism was exposure to everything. I was exposed at a very young age, to church. We never actually attended a Sunday service, but I went to a Bible day camp. Now one thing I must get straight is that my parents are just as atheistic as I am. However, I didn’t find that out until i was seven.  I think that they wanted to let me make my own choice and expose me to everything. Every summer for around three years, I went to the church next door every day for a week. It was fun, I had a good time, and never got the subliminal messages about God. Never really knowing too much about religion, I just thought that it was a big game. However, one thing I did notice was the fact that all of these people were a little odd. I later found out, that this oddity is called religion.

Many Christians are very good people. They live good lives, and have fun. Almost all of my friends are religious. However, stubborn, mean, overly religious people fall into three categories for me:

* Bible thumpers: These people bring up God or the Bible up anytime they can! They constantly praise Jesus for allowing the turkey to be cooked properly, or for having the people they don’t like being struck down with the sniffles. These people think that ‘God’ does everything, and that if they praise him enough, he will forget about that one time in college, when that thing happened with that girl.

* Hardcores: This is the class of people that will go to church every day except Tuesday, when they will write on their Blog about god. These guys usually tend to be rather nice (Or tend to act like it), pretending to not care what your beliefs are, as they bombard you with church meeting invites.

* Zombies: The final, and worst, class of overly religious people. They seem calm, mellow and boring at first. You talk to them for a bit, and notice that they have a lot to say about God. They go on and on about how great he is, centering every conversation on religion. And when you can’t stand it anymore, you let on that you are an atheist. Then they go insane. They freak out at you, talking about how deep in hell your going to go. They attack everything you say, with the tried and true arguments that make them feel as if they’ve won. And if you wonder why I call them zombies, replace God with human flesh. You’ll understand.

Now one thing that I have found out, is that many people simply don’t care. A lot of people will accept you, no matter what you believe. Other people, however, freak out on you and never speak to you again. I know this may sound corny, but these people aren’t worth befriending anyway. I used to never tell anyone that I was an Atheist. It was horrible, because if people don’t know your beliefs, they will assume that you have the same beliefs as they do. With most people, this is actually a good thing. However, with the right-wing, Bible thumper-hardcore-zombies (yes, they do exist), it gets pretty bad. And then you start getting invited to ‘Jesus camp’ and the Element.

Another thing that makes it hard being an atheist, is that I am a homeschooler. The reason that I am is that I know that I can get a better education this way. But the reason that many people do it, is that the schools aren’t religious enough. That one statement should give you a good impression of the average homeschooler. Well, I went to the homeschooler Physical Education meeting, Tuesdays and Thursdays, every week. We played a random assortment of sports, ranging from track, to open swim, to sitting on the floor and rolling a volleyball around. Like P.E. everywhere, it was kind of dull, but I became friends with the people there. They were very nice.

Well one time, one of my friends asked me if I wanted to go to the Evangelical-free youth meetings (I know Evangelical-free seem like it would be free of evangelicals, but no, quite the opposite). It didn’t come to mind that it might have been religious, because usually religion wasn’t a big thing with me and my friends. Little did I know that my homeschooler friend’s lives revolved around it. So we went to the E-Free mega-church and went into this low ceiling room, full of people doing various activities. I looked around, thinking that this was going to be awesome. But about fifteen minutes into it a tall man, dressed all in black, came into the room and ushered us down some steps. We sat in a blindingly white room, chattering Quietly, until another man came in and handed us each a Bible verse. We all got up, one at a time, and recited our verse. I was getting a little weirded out, when the first man came around and started answering our questions about God. When it was my friend’s turn for question time, his one question was “Where is the proof?”. I gave a little smile when I heard this, but that smile quickly faded at the response. “The proof is the Bible, the word of God” So the proof of God, is something God said? That was the moment when I fully became an atheist.

Due to the highly noticeable lack of atheists in Bismarck, not many of my friends have the same beliefs as me. Many of my best friends are highly religious, going to church every Sunday, attending the Element and taking part in all of the religious events that they can. I really don’t care what their beliefs are, as long as they don’t shove it in my face all the time. I even help with some of their church-based-charities. Not only that, but all of my friends know that I am an atheist. It would seem like this would be something you would tread lightly on, but no, its actually a bit of a joke to us. We point out ironic moments, like when we played Clue, and I get stuck as the Reverend. That is how I know that I am hanging out with good people. They don’t care what I believe, as long as I’m nice about it.

So, in conclusion, Atheism really doesn’t affect my life that much. Many people talk about how depressed they would be if they were an atheist, but I feel quite the opposite. I feel like I lead a great life. And I do lead a great life, because I feel like I do (This, unlike proof of god, is an acceptable use of circular logic). I don’t lead a good life because of what I believe, but because of my actions.

I suppose this last paragraph could have been summed up in four words: Don’t be a dick.

Reilly Hedegaard

Quick Update And A Little Self-Glorification


The newspaper photo of Reilly and I sandbagging.

Hey all.  I just finished my 8th day of sandbag filling.  The news is approximately the same.  The Corps of Engineers is still going to release the same ungodly amount of water.(or should I say godly… Hmmm…  Dilemma.)  They have only adjusted the time frame of its release.  Some time this weekend they’ll start the 120,000 cubic feet per second and some time next week they’ll up it to 150,000 cfs. In short, we are still screwed. To give you an idea about the amount of flow that is the previous record release since the dam was finished in the early 1950′s was 75,000 cfs in 1975.  We will double that in the next week and a half.  I’ll keep you posted.

I’m somewhat surprised that this hasn’t hit the national news yet.  Bismarck is just the beginning.  There are towns downstream where all the people are going to be evacuated.

But as a bit of self-glorification, my son and I were interviewed for the paper because we were out there so much.  Here’s a link.  Unfortunately it reveals my secret identity, but as most of you know that anyway it’s not a big deal and past time to come clean anyway.  For those of you who do not know me, my name is Waylon Hedegaard.  I’m a union boilermaker living in Bismarck, North Dakota. I’m married to the single greatest woman on the planet, Renee Ewine and my 13-year-old son, Reilly, is my soul mate and the apple of my eye and whose super power is a unique ability to drive me batshit insane on rare occasions.  I am truly a blessed atheist, albeit, a tired and sore one.

It’s nice to meet you.

It is a nice article.  The other young lady, Liz Mizell,I found particularly impressive.  She’s a nonreligious 16-year-old and has come out there nearly every day on her own for about six hours a day.  That is an impressive amount of dedication.  In addition, there were about 125 teenagers from a town 200 miles away who volunteered to take a bus down and sandbag all day.

Every time someone gripes about the youth of this country not giving a shit, I’d like to slap them.  Obviously, the same goes for church as the only way to instill morals.

 

The Great Bismarck Flood


As many of you realize, I have been a little busy lately, first with work 14 hours a day then with the flood preparations. Yes, flood preparations.  You see for the first time in its history Bismarck is going to have a major flood, an all-out-holy-shit kind of flood, the kind of flood we only thought happened elsewhere. Oh, we have had minor ones before and there are a few river areas that habitually flood a little, but for the first time in memory, the Army Corps of engineers is rapidly building dikes down our streets.  People are sandbagging individual houses and entire blocks.  Entire main thoroughfares are closed down just so the dirt hauling trucks can get to the dike construction areas faster.  Yet even if the dike will be finished in time and even if it holds back the waters, there are about 5,600 people in 1300 homes outside the dike’s protection.  These people will have to fend for themselves against the rising waters.  The unofficial word is just take what you value and leave. This is likely going to be the worst disaster in Bismarckian history.

This started out as a potential major disaster that we thought we had plenty of time to prepare for, but has rapidly turned into an unbelievable mess with which our time to prepare is coming to an end.  Every day the Corps of Engineers has raised the projected flow rate of the water they have to release from the Garrison Dam, 60 miles to the North, and has moved up the date when they are to do this.  First it was 105,00 Cubic Feet per Second towards the end of June but now with all the rainfall in Montana and the snowpack beginning its thaw, they have now stated that by the 2nd of June (just 4 days away) the flow will be 120,000 CFS and 150,000 CFS a week later.  By Yahweh’s fossilized shit, we are screwed!  If you doubt this check out this map.  All that blue area is the area that will be flooded.  All the checkers area will be protected if the dike holds.  If not, paint all that blue also.  To give you an idea of the scale of this, the rivers normal width is less that a tenth of what is projected here and that other 9/10 that is projected to be the river is currently inhabited.

With this flood, we stand to lose 500 houses if everything goes right and the dike holds.  If the dike doesn’t hold, and remember this is a hastily engineered and constructed dirt dike that will have to hold up to two months, if it doesn’t hold we stand to lose a quarter of the city.  The damage is projected to be in the hundreds of millions of all goes well and into the billions if not. It boggles my mind.  I grew up with the infallability of that Dam’s protection as a article of faith so-to-speak if such a phrase may be used on this site, but now, I have learned a great deal about the fallibility of the infallible.  I have been sandbagging for 8 hours a day for the last five days.  My body aches every time I move, yet there are weeks of work left.  We have filled 850,000 bags in the last five days.  They now say we need 4,000,000 more in the next four days as a start.  I fear the future here.

As a clarification I must say that the Blessed Atheist’s house is wisely built on a hill, but I have dozens of friends who are on the flood plain below and have met dozens more bottom dwellers while loading sandbags onto their trucks for them to fortify their houses.

And what do we do about it?  Read as much of this as you can stomach then turn to the discussion tab at the top.  You’ll notice the first commenter had a something interesting to say.  A rather suave and persuasive commenter at that, I must admit. Then you’ll see, of course, what the rest of Bismarck consists of.

Sigh.  The city’s in desperate trouble.  We simple can’t get enough sandbags filled, but we’ll sit around talk to our imaginary friend begging him to stop the flood which he created.

What… the… fuck?

I love these people here, but Jesus Christ in a piece of toast, sometimes I swear this town could use an enema. There’s a certain constipation in their thinking.

My son and I were going to go on a two week vacation/work trip to New Jersey but have cancelled in light of the approaching doom.  I just couldn’t bear to be away from my community in its time of need.  I will be spending at least eight hours a day from here on filling sandbags.  Me and the National Guard… and a couple of others… and Aleve and caffeine…

Wish me luck!

Email From the Edge.


I wonder how much they are asking?

I get email.  Yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone does so there’s nothing usual in that, but every so often, my email gets well… interesting. Yeah, interesting, that’s the word.  Most times, it’s from people who agree whole heartedly with what I have to say. Sometimes, it’s someone who disagrees even more passionately, and then every now and then I’m not really sure what the writer believes but the mere fact that he “believes” comes through strongly, and his creative use of ALLCAPS, incoherent platitudes and white space usually offers something amusing. But every so often it’s completely different. Is this one of those different ones? Well… I’ll let you judge. This letter was in my inbox last weekend. I left the document completely unedited save for leaving out the last name.

Name: Lee *********

hey! im a 16 year old guy trying to figure out the meaning of life….i really just want to make my own life and have no one else control it….i used to be super SUPER relgious and now im still having probelms with it….i cant find any error in the Bible i do know alot about it and every contradiction out of the some 500 in there has an intepration that makes total sense

i want to be an atheist because i want control of my own life…all my desires and my own brain

ive been a conservative CHristian up to this point but now i just dont know

i tried looking into evolution but there is so many wholes as there is in everything else

im starting not to care about religious boundaries anymore i really just want to be a humanist and live the life that makes me happy

problem is that good ole Bible nothing has been proven wrong in it(from my opinion)

i dream of a life like yours

please give some advice if you dont mind

sorry i dont type correctly haha but i would love a free thinkers insight

i just dont want to live for nothing

Hmm.  I read it and alarms began to blare through my head. Part of me, a large part, screamed that this must be a set up. People, particularly Christians on the edge losing their faith, simply don’t think like this. And if I’m wrong and some actually do, I’d bet much that they don’t talk like this. What this echoes most strongly is the Fundamentalist viewpoint of why people become atheists.  This isn’t some boy on the verge of reason.  It’s an Evangelical interpretation of what they think that someone who throws away their faith must go through.

Allow me to paraphrase what the cynic in me is hearing.  ”I want to have the life of a freethinker, to decide what’s right or wrong on my own, to be a selfish master of my own fate, Alas, the Bible just keeps proving accurate no matter how many times I have tried to prove it otherwise. In the face of all this evidence proving Christianity true, what’s a budding freethinker to do?”

I feel this is an accurate interpretation of what’s happening here. In fact, I’d bet on it, but if I close my eyes and assume it’s true — a feat I am becoming quite adept at with this study — what should I tell 16 year-old Lee? What insight does one free thinker have to offer another budding but likely fictional freethinker?

First, read what we have written so far. I have tried to do my best to point out the Biblical absurdities and the commenters here have been amazing at pointing out all that I have missed. As a team, we have nailed the Christian God thoroughly and will continue to do so for many years to come.  I didn’t realized what entertainment value the Bible had.

Second, Lee, comes the natural counter to this idea “i cant find any error in the Bible i do know alot about it and every contradiction out of the some 500 in there has an intepration that makes total sense.” This glossing over the vast number of idiosyncrasies is done using several techniques.  The first is usually placed under the concept of hermeneutics. Thank you to Mr. Hubbo for introducing that word into my vocabulary.  I knew the definition long before I knew what it was called.  Hermeneutics is a concept I have argued against in these posts and in running battles in the comments, and I will continue to fight as my last breath leaves my body.  Hopefully not soon with some Christian pitchfork stuck through my chest as they’re burning down my house.  What?  You people don’t wake up in the dead of night screaming about horses of cross bearing psychopaths roaming the streets?   Um… Yeah, me neither…

Anyway, let’s do with some definitions first. Hermeneutics, in regard to Biblical interpretation, is taking the Bible as a whole and not as a collection of parts. On the surface, this sounds like a fine idea, and overall, I would support viewing any human document hermeneutically, but when it comes to how the Biblical literalist uses it, I must make an exception. Their work in this area is simple apologetics, a defending of a position already taken using whatever sleight of hand one can use. When a literalist finds a contradiction or anything that makes them feel uncomfortable such as God slaughtering thousands of Egyptian children or destroying a civilization for becoming too great and threatening his own power, he or she only needs to pick through that vast repository of phrases to find one that tempers it or counters it or allows them to ignore it completely.  Bingo!  Contradiction alleviated.

This is what allows the fundamentalist to condemn homosexuality with vigor but ignore many of the other verses in the same chapter. You just get to pick and choose what you want to hear and ignore the rest.  For example, “He who lies with an animal shall surely be put to death,” is followed soon after by “If you lend money to my people, the poor among you, you are not to act as a creditor to him; you are not to charge him interest.”   How come we never hear about that anymore. It was big in the middle ages but not now. With all the raging homophobes screaming from every pulpit about the dangers of homosexuality, someone has to explain to me why aren’t banks being burnt to the ground. We have Christians lending money at interest all the time.  But of course, this lack of economic freedom would go against what we want to believe so we just ignore it.  Homosexuality outlawed.  Banking good.  See how easy that was?

This same verse condemning gays is preceded by this little gem. “If a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod and he dies at his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, he survives a day or two, no vengeance shall be taken for he is his property.” Beating slaves to death is fine as long as you don’t do it too quickly.  Yeah… Now this one was big prior to the civil war but isn’t used much today. Why?  Is morality relative?  These are just two of thousands of instances of God either being a bastard or out right contradicting his own teachings.

The reason that an advanced use of hermeneutics is so useful in plastering over the vast gaps in sheer Biblical decency is that it allows anyone to pick and choose the parts that they want to follow and ignore that parts they would rather forget. If you start with the firm conviction that God is perfect and the Bible is inerrant combined with your own preconceived notions, it is a simple matter to come up with an interpretation to suit what you already “know” is true.  You don’t change yourself as much as you change the Bible to suit you.  In the brilliant words of George Bernard Shaw,  ”No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.”  (Thank you to Daz for that.)

Hermeneutics is often accompanied by the whole “That was the old covenant. Jesus sacrifice brought a new covenant to us.” So God changed the covenant from a harsher on to a nicer one? Why? Did the perfect God make a mistake with all the evil he did with the first one? And if so why do we still pick and choose only the parts of the Old Testament that we want to follow and not the whole thing? Who chooses those parts? Why do we swear by one verse and ignore the whole next page?

These two Biblical polishing techniques are then followed with the only available option to Christians when confronted with the idea of a wicked God: they make excuses for him. He killed all the children of Sodom and Gomorrah and Egypt because the parents were evil (evil here simply means not following God’s arbitrary commands) and therefore the children would be evil.  This has been pointed out on more that one occasion that this is why God punishes to the third and fourth generation.  God punishes children for the sins of their parents.  But ask yourself Lee, if we followed the same technique and butchered the children of our enemies on purpose, would we be doing the right thing or the wrong? If we purposefully tortured and killed children in our wars and conflicts would we be honorable or despicable?  WWJD?  Isn’t this the ideal Christians strive for?  But alter it slightly and make it “What would Jehovah do?”    Should we be butchering the Iraqi children as we speak?  Should we take the babies of criminals and butcher them on the court house steps all in the name of justice?  No?  Are we not following his example?  Why can God do anything he wants and name it good simply because he’s the one who did it?  Might doesn’t make right, yet here he is committing genocide and his apologists smile and tell me about perfect justice and perfect love and how those flawless concepts necessitate genocide.  Perfect justice involving the slaughter of innocents?  Perfect love?  Perfect bullshit!

And ask yourself this, Lee, if the Bible is so consistent, why are there so many different interpretations of it. Why are there so many Protestant sects in the United States and around the world — 30,000 by one estimate — that have a radically different outlook on what that book really says? Why has the interpretation of this book changed dramatically through history? Every sect whether present or historic uses a different approach to hermeneutics to get that book to say what ever they want it to say. Then they claim to be one of the few groups of people on the planet who really knows the truth and then often try to convince all the other people of the validity of their claim…  Usually at the point of a sword,   This infallible book has been the inspiration for the crusades, the inquisition, the conquest of other lands and vast religious wars that have left entire regions decimated. The Bible was used extensively to justify both sides of the American civil war or for that matter, most any civil wars. How can so many people get so many different meanings out of a single book that is supposedly perfect?  And why do those meanings usually reflect what the people really want to do anyway?

Think about it Lee. It’s because of those very contradictions. It’s because of those flaws.  Those terrible differences in tone and decency have given people all the tools they need to give divine justification to whatever the hell they desire. Even a brief but honest reading of history of the western world demonstrates the truth of these statements.  The cross has been at the forefront of atrocity after atrocity.  God strides hand in hand with every tyrant for every despicable and depraved act. Virtually every call to war, genocide and massacre that the western world has been responsible for has held the cross high and asked for their God’s blessing while crushing any resistance underfoot.

So, Lee, I ask you to do one thing. Read the Bible, but not as they, the preachers and bishops ask you to. Don’t be praying for “God’s” guidance while you read.  Don’t make excuses for the evil contained there in.  Read it with an open mind.  Or even better, read it how you would read the Koran, that is looking for the brutality and evil.  Read it how you would read the nonsense in the book of Mormon.  Then ask yourself if the behavior exhibited by your God  is rational and decent. Ask yourself that if any human ruler emulated this behavior and actions that you would think as highly of him as of your God.  Or would we be going to war just to stop him?

Then ask yourself this, Lee: what evidence is there for a God aside from the Bible, a book that shows it’s inadequacies with every page?

And Lee?  We don’t live for nothing.  We live for what we choose: our wives, our children, our friends and our life.  Life is too beautiful to be wasted following what someone else says is God’s will.  Free thinkers think! First! Foremost! Primarily!

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